Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize