I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize