Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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