I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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