I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
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