Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
