i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
