Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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