Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize