I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
