He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
