I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
