so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Let's paint friendship bongs
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
