in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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