dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Randomize
