I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
you never un-have a 4some
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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