I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Randomize
