turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
