So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
