So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize