My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
