i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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