Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
