Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
