Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
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