just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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