there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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