Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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