She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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