just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Randomize
