I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
