And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize