Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize