Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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