i think my tv is drunk
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
