Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
