He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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