my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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