I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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