C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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