I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
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