So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize