I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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