He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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