...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize