I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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