Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
MIDGETS
????
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
