hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize