when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
