Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize