I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
