I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
