You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
