just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
