i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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