last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize
