what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Randomize
