I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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