I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Randomize
