She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
