PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
