So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Dicks are not precious.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
